The star fort diary of Useless

A bastion has two faces and two flanks. I have one face, drawn on in biro, and no flanks at all. Network of Vauban’s Major Sites: glossary, Bastion

At Fort McHenry as few as five men could cover all the land around the fort. My desk is covered by one eraser. Me. US National Park Service: The Star Fort (Fort McHenry)

Cannonballs fired at the Castillo’s coquina walls burrowed in and stuck. Pencils thrown at me just bounce off. Mostly onto the floor. US National Park Service: Castillo de San Marcos, construction

Vauban travelled the equivalent of 4,000 kilometres a year. I travel about four metres a year, from the pencil case to the floor and back. Network of Vauban’s Major Sites: Vauban

Fort George never fired a shot in anger. I have never rubbed in anger. Only in mild disappointment. Historic Environment Scotland: Fort George, history

Vauban refused to write a rule book on fortification. I refuse to read the instructions on anything. Network of Vauban’s Major Sites: History of the bastioned fortification

Bourtange is known as the fort that was never taken. I am known as the eraser that was never given back. Visit Groningen: Fort Bourtange

Palmanova is a nine-pointed star. I am a rectangle. I have four points, and they are all a bit blunt. italia.it: Palmanova

Tilbury should have had a fifth bastion, but the Thames tides stopped it. I should have had a sharp edge, but homework stopped that. English Heritage: History of Tilbury Fort

Fort George has a dog cemetery for regimental mascots. I was the class mascot once. For a morning. Historic Environment Scotland: Fort George

A glacis is a gently sloping bank of earth. My desk is a gently sloping lid. That is how I end up on the floor. Network of Vauban’s Major Sites: glossary, Glacis

“Coquina” is Spanish for “tiny shell”. “Useless” is English for “me”. US National Park Service: Coquina, the rock that saved St Augustine

A star fort’s strength came from the thickness of the earth behind its walls. My strength comes from the thickness of my rubber. Also not very strong. Network of Vauban’s Major Sites: History of the bastioned fortification

Vauban’s forts formed an “iron belt” around France. I once formed a rubber band around a pencil. Nobody wrote a book about it. Network of Vauban’s Major Sites: History of the bastioned fortification

In 1757 Tilbury stored almost 8,500 barrels of gunpowder. I store crumbs. Nobody counts them. English Heritage: History of Tilbury Fort

Goryokaku has 1,600 cherry trees around it. I have one pencil shaving stuck to me. It is not the same. Visit Hokkaido: Goryokaku Fort